The Guy on the Dramatic Story from the The Diliman Files

The guy in the story is my brother. I showed it to him once I read it last December. He doesn't have a facebook account and he isn't really attuned to social media much so he wasn't able to see it for himself. I won't go into details regarding what happened after he saw the post but just know that we did everything in our power and exhausted every option to find ate. Awa naman ng universe, nahanap namin siya. It was a very bittersweet reunion. Of course a lot of things has changed since then but maybe this letter from my brother will convey our message much better.

""To The Diliman Files and its readers,

""Malaki siguro ang dapat kong ipagpasalamat sa Facebook page na ito for giving me the chance to reconnect with the best friend I've ever had and the woman I've loved all my life in a very special way. Marami sigurong nag-iisip na hindi ko siya minahal talaga dahil sa mga nangyari between us, but I can assure you, I loved her deeply. Sa mga nagtatanong rin kong posibleng magmahal ng dalawang tao at the same time, I can say, depende siguro sa tao, but in my case, yes. Yes, it is. I love my wife and son very much but I also love her so, so much. Her name is Mia and she deserves so to be recognized for being such a strong, brave and amazing woman.

""I'm a very private person. I don't usually expose my life to social media scrutiny but maybe this will express my gratitude better for helping me find Mia. This will be my penance too, for all the things I've done wrong in my life, for all the things I did to hurt you and for all the pain I've caused you.

""We had the perfect relationship. Our friends and parents always said that we were meant to be together. I know you've always wondered why I didn't go through with the wedding. I know you thought it was because I fell in love with another or because I didn't really love you in the first place but you'd be wrong. I loved you so much and I didn't go through with the wedding in large part because I was a coward. I was afraid that I only loved you because everyone told me that I should. It was a fool's thought, I admit. It retrospect, it was probably cold feet. I couldn't have been more stupid because when you left me, I died a little inside. I shouldn't have let you go.

""Eventually, I accepted that I made the biggest mistake of my life and moved on and got married. But then you came back and you were like a breath of fresh air. I decided then that I couldn't let you go again. Admittedly, it was another stupid thing for me to do because I already had a wife. I didn't want to make you into the other woman but damn it, I didn't care. I needed you so I followed you.

""I thought everything was going great while we were together in the States. But then we received news from my wife that we were expecting and things just went downhill from there. While I was mulling over the best course of action, you just suddenly left. Hindi man lang tayo nag-usap or nagkaintindihan man lang. Hindi mo man lang ako binigyan ng chance magpaalam. Akala mo yata wala lang sa akin lahat ng pinagsamahan natin.

""I knew something was wrong kahit na noong magkasama pa lang tayo dun but I didn't say anything kasi akala ko, you just needed time. Akala ko sasabihin mo rin sa'kin kung anong dinaramdam mo kasi I was still your best friend, right? Pero hindi yata ako dapat nag-banko masyado dun. Dapat yata pinilit kita. Pero alam kong mali ko rin naman. I knew I should've done better. I knew I should've showed you how much I really loved you, that I couldn't live without you.

""Tapos ngayon may sakit ka pala? Ano yun? Bakit hindi mo sinabi sakin? I get that you were trying to save me from the heartache, trying to prevent me from choosing between you and my wife and son. I knew our lives were complicated and it was largely my fault but you were my best friend first and foremost. I deserved to know what was going on. I realize that I hurt you so much, but the only way I can begin to make up for all the things I did was if you let me. I know I have no right to demand things from you. I know all these things but I can't help but be mad. I'm sorry Mia. You should've let me make the choice. I know I've not exactly been the best at making choices but I wanted to have that choice at least.

I know this doesn't make a lot of sense to you. I don't really express myself properly most of the time. Madalas tayo mag-away regarding those things. If you're not sure about anything at all, just be sure of these things: one, I loved you. I loved you with all my heart. Maybe I didn't show it so much when we were together. Tanga lang ako na nagpaapekto sa mga bagay-bagay when I should have just focused on you. And two, I still love you in my own special way. You will always be my first love. You will always hold a special place in my heart. If you don't ever want to see me again, I will understand. But I just want to see you one more time. You said that you've accepted your fate, but I haven't. I can't. If nothing else, just give me this one last chance to say goodbye.""

Ate Mia passed away last February 12. She and my kuya talked for the last time last February 10. They have a very complicated relationship. Maraming taong nasaktan at nadamay pero sana hindi sila mahusgahan. They did their best to cope in an impossible situation. Lesson learned na rin siguro para sa iba.


Thank you TDF 2009 Science