Monday, July 30, 2012

PISSED OFF

Last night I have dinner in my friends place. As I enter at the house one of them tell me that I forget yesterday(SUNDAY) was "516"(You will know him at my "Never fall in love with your friends PART 3 will be published soon) birthday. I was really embarrassed, shocked and everything on the NEWS everyone on the house keep telling and teasing me "How could I forget his birthday, they thought we are close and I really know his birthday". I answered them that "As far as I know his birthday is on August and not last night". 516 face looks like so disappointed, sick and frustrated on my answers. I felt terrible guiltiness and these question   and ideas runs on my mind "How idiot of me, All of my plans for his birthday is wasted, I missed a special day of his life, I'm so regretting how I couldn't know when was his right birthday". I cried a little when having dinner with them and so feverish depressed.

I get his notebook and write a letter on him telling how I'm devastated, frustrated, guilty and sad on what had happened. If only I could go to the past and be with him in his birthday. I confessed that I have a lot of plans for his birthday and I'm so really looking forward on it. I listed there my wish list for his birthday. And write How I really do care for him and I also tell him that "I LOVE HIM FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART". And for the win,  one of our friends read out loud my personal letter for him. All of them laugh at my letter. And me still guilty and depressed because my Letter for him doesn't lessen the worsts feelings I'm having that time .

And then they starting asking why do I 'm so depressed and overacting about it. I didn't gave them answers and I just don't mind them. I just keep on saying sorry to 516 on how awful I am for forgetting and not knowing his real birthday.

That night I've decided to sleep at their place so I could at least lessen his disappointment in me and I could be with him and we can spent the night together. My other friends go home and  we left behind in the place. And then he said yesterday was not his birthday it was the anniversary of his Barkada, but yet he said you forget my birthday still. I'm so confused so when his best friend arrived I asked her when was 516 birthday. she tell me it was last night. Again I felt awful. And that night also we doesn't talk much, he is busy studying and reading his notes. And  I think if I will disturbed him he will just get angry on me. So I just chit-chat with our other friends. I thought that night we will sleep together at other room but he just sleep on the other room. And my supposed to be also roommate that night just decided to sleep at the chair. I cried so hard that night at the room. I felt unwanted at their place and I can't just forgive myself on what I missed. I really don't know on how I could make up on him. Before we sleep I asked him that I will treat him at Movie house he said that he will be busy on the coming days and he can't promised anything. Last night was so devastated and  worst.

This morning when I checked his FB profile and files he write there that his birthday was AUGUST.

DSgafre^%&*%#&%#@&*#$!*&R@&!*%@(!%@!(@%!(TGDBVGHASHV.
I can't spell out my feelings after seeing the details.

WOW. SERIOUSLY...