Monday, December 9, 2013

When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Friendship

"Many friendships are based on proximity and convenience. In fact social psychological research finds that proximity is the greatest single predictor of friendships. But, if the person moves, the friendship vanishes. For a friendship to survive such a move requires a much deeper grounding in shared values, perspectives, or interests. Friendships based on convenience are not friendships that can stand the test of time. "

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

14 WAYS PARA MANLIGAW NG BABAE. :D


1. Bili ka ng century tuna. Ilagay mo sa isang napakalaking box—yung sinlaki ng TV o kaya box ng desktop PC mo. Tapos balutan mo ng magarang pambalot. Kuntsabahin mo na yung teacher niya sa Calculus. Sa gitna ng klase, bigla kang kumatok sa classroom. Pero dapat, incognito ka. Magsuot ka ng LBC jacket, magshades, at magsuot ng surgical mask. Pagpasok mo sa classroom, iabot mo yung box sa teacher, at papirmahin mo ng acknowledgement receipt. Tapos pabuksan mo in front of everyone. Tignan mong mabuti ang reaction sa mukha niya.

Later during the day, pag tinanong niya kung bakit Century Tuna ang binigay mo, iikot mo yung lata at ituro mo yung sign na “Omega 8.” Pag tinanong niya kung ano yung Omega 8, sabihin mo: “because you’re good for my heart.”

2. Mangolekta ka ng isang dosenang hanger na libre mong nakukuha tuwing nagpapa-dry clean ka. Tapos, sa bawat hanger, isula mo: “I miss hanging out with you.”

3. Instead of roses, kuha ka ng tissue paper sa banyo ng school mo. Gawin mong tissue paper roses. Gawa ka ng isang dosena. Pag-abot mo, sabihin mo, “Ganito kalinis ang pag-ibig ko sa’yo.”

4. Bili ka ng tetra pack ng mantikang Minola. Tapos bilugan mo yung “with Omega 8.” Hindi na siya magtatanong kung bakit.

5. Bigyan mo ng ice cream cone. Dapat cone lang at walang ice cream. Pag hinanap niya yung ice cream, sabihin mo, “natunaw na kakatitig sa’yo.”

6. Bili ka ng sandosenang box ng crayola. Kolektahin mo lahat ng black. Lagay mo sa isang box ng crayola. Sa likod, isulat mo: “Walang kulay ang buhay kung wala ka.”

7. Bigyan mo siya ng mumurahing bumbilya. Alam mo na siguro by this time kung ano ang isasagot pag tinanong niya kung bakit.

8. Itext mo siya ng: “Hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop, hindi tayo halaman. Bagay tayo. Bagay!”

9. Bigyan mo siya ng calling card ng MMDA. Sa likod, isulat mo “para pag nagkabanggaan ang puso natin.”

10. Padalhan mo ng Happy Meal pero huwag mong ibibigay yung libreng laruan. Paghinanap niya, sabihin mo: “Ako yung freebie, at ikaw yung meal na nagpapahappy sa’kin.”

11. Sunugin ang kanyang bahay at padalhan ng hallmark card: "aanhin mo pa ang bahay mo, kung matagal ka nang nakatira sa puso ko"

12. Pagatapos sunugin ang kanyang bahay, padalhan siya ng isang box ng posporo, Guitar brand. unahan ang kanyang galit at sabihin, "ayan ang posporo na ginamit ko sa pagsunog ng iyong bahay, match na tayo"

13. Sa kalagitnaan ng isang malupit na bagyo, pasalubungan sya ng "salbabida", wag payong, o mainit na mami. Pag nagtanong bkt? ang isagot mo ay " ayaw kong malunod ka sa pag mamahal ko."

14. Pag pumayag na siyang makipagdate, dalhin mo siya sa canteen at huwag bibitawan ang kamay. Pag tinanong niya kung bakit, ituro mo yun sign na “don’t leave your valuables unattended”

Nakuha ko lang ito sa profile ng iba hahahaha. Ang sayang ishare HAHA.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Ano ang gusto mong sabihin sa kanya? Kaw na bahala kung sino man siya.


  • Sana matuto siyang MAKINIG sa ibang tao lalo na sa nagpapahalaga sa kanya ng bongga. 
  • Hindi lahat ng naririnig natin magugustuhan natin.
  • Maging sensitive enough sa feelings ng iba.
  • Forget, Let go and Move forward,
  • Huwag taasan ang expectations sa isang tao lalo na at hindi kayo.
  • Isasampal sayo ng TRUE FRIEND ang KATOTOHANAN kahit gaano KASAKIT. Dahil ayaw ka na nya MASAKTAN PA ULIT AT MAGING TANGA.
  • Panindigan sana nya ang mga desisyon nya pero kapag nafeel na nya na hindi na siya MASAYA. Bitawan na nya at wag na nyang panindigan kasi ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat ay KUNG SAAN TAYO MASAYA.
  • Huwag magdedecide para sa sarili lalo na at may ibang madadamay.
  • Huwag masyadong MAPRIDE. 
  • Kapag sinaktan ka ng FRIEND mo hindi iyon INTENSYUNAL. Kung masaktan ka man nya MAGSOSORRY yun  at maguguilty.
  • Matutong magtiwala at hindi masamang magalit at magtampo sa taong SINUNGALING
  • Sorry if di ako naging honest sa iyo about sa gusto kita. Una, Hindi ako sure, Pangalawa, Takot na takot ako Pangatlo. Sobrang mahalaga sa aking ang FRIENDSHIP natin.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Definition And Meaning Of Honesty by mystic madness


We all know the famous saying, “honesty is the best policy”. This idiom is an integrated part of all religion and people all over the world believe this even if they do not believe in any particular religion.  But do we know the exact definition and meaning of honesty? There are some words which are very hard to define. For example, love. The meaning of love varies from person to person. Every person defines it on his own way. This is because of the wide sense of the word. Same thing goes for honesty.  Understanding the proper meaning and wide sense of the word “honesty” is very difficult yet very important for each and every individual.

So what is the exact definition and meaning of honesty? Ok, I can give you a dictionary definition and meaning of honesty but is that sufficient? Will it explain the real spirit of the word? I do not think so. Let’s have a look on the detail significance of the sacred word honesty.

Honesty means being trustworthy: the most important and significant part of being honest is being trustworthy not only to the outside world but also to you. Being honest with yourself is the most difficult thing as you know yourself better than anyone does. You can lie to anyone about a particular thing or event or about your attitude toward something or someone but you cannot lie to yourself. When you cheat someone, or when you lie to someone may be they do not realize that you are cheating on them or lying to them but you do. At the end of the day, you are your own judge and on your judgment you know where you stand on the scale of trustworthiness. No matter how honest you are on other people’s eye, if you are not honest and trustworthy to yourself it would be like a throne that will keep on nagging you deep inside your mind. I think everyone knows this fact. So honesty means being trustworthy from inside and out.

Honestly means being genuine: another important part of being honest is being genuine.  An honest person does not pretend. They say what they believe and do the same. If someone’s deeds and words do not match then he/she cannot be considered as an honest person. You can pretend to believe in something or in some values which you actually do not. May be none will ever find out that but one person always knows the truth, and that is you. So the definition and meaning of honesty is being genuine.

With these two qualities i.e. trustworthiness and genuine there come few more qualities and these are humble nature, orderly actions, execution, sacrifice and yielding nature. Let me explain this virtues and how these are related to the definition and meaning of honesty. Honesty must come up with humble nature and that would help a person to accomplish the truth. Orderly actions imply the attitude of an honest person to the search of truth. He would do anything to stick to the truth, to find out the truth and of course to make it known to the people if that brings any positive impact toward some certain people’s lives or towards the society. Execution is a very significant part of honesty. An honest person should be an executive of fairness and truth not only with himself but also to the other people of his society. Honesty does not mean just being honest alone; it also complies to encourage other people to be honest. An honest person needs to have the sacrificing mentality. If one does not possess this mentality he/she cannot be a complete honest person as most of the time honesty requires sacrifices. Sacrifice of one’s own interests in order to reveal the truth or might be in the search of truth.  The last but not the least quality is yielding nature which means influencing the good views and activities even in the worst circumstances. Honesty is such a virtue which will influence you on encouraging others around you to do the right thing no matter what the situation.

The feeling of being honest cannot be expressed in words. Honesty makes a person immense, eternal and timeless. And at the same time being honest is not an easy job. The dedication, sacrifices, rigidity that comes with the word is not very easy to maintain and within a fraction of second one can be distracted from the track. It is true may be it is not possible to be honest each and every moment of our lives but that does not mean we should not try. We should struggle our level best on being honest so that we can make the world a better place.

At last it can be said that one single article is not enough to describe the definition and meaning of honesty still I have tried my level best. Hope you like that.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Legit UP Employee

After 3 years of being a Non-UP contractual. I'm officially a regular and legit UP Employee.
Yahoo, at last I could enjoy benefits and bonus that an employee should have. Officially a career woman.




Thank you to Heavenly Father for the blessings and answered prayer.
Thank you for those people who helped me to have this position.
Thank you to the person who helped me to enter UP.
Thank you for my family who have been always there for me.
Thank you for my clingy UP friends who have made my stay colorful.
Thank you to my Inspiration <3



Abanger- The One who love you truly

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Walking Fish



Walking fish, sometimes called ambulatory fish, is a general term that refers to fish that are able to travel over land for extended periods of time. The term may also be used for some other cases of nonstandard fish locomotion, e.g., when describing fish "walking" along the sea floor, as the handfish or frogfish.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Sunday, May 5, 2013

THE YOUNGEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD.

Peruvian five-year-old Lina Medina, accompanied by her 11-month-old-son Gerardo, and Doctor Lozada who attended her son's birth, are shown in this 1940 file photo taken in Lima's hospital.

When her child was born by Caesarean section in May 1939, Medina made medical history, and is still the youngest known mother in the world.

Lina Medina's parents thought their 5-year-old daughter had a huge abdominal tumor and when shamans in their remote village in Peru's Andes could find no cure, her father carried her to a hospital.

Just over a month later, she gave birth to a boy.

Medina was born on September 27, 1933 in the small village of Paurange. She was only 5 years 8 months old at the birth of her child on Mother's Day, May 14, 1939.

Born at full term at Lima's maternity clinic, her child was taken through a caesarian operation (Dr. Lozada and Busalleu, operators, Dr. Colretta, anesthesiologist). The child (boy), weighing 2,700 grams, was well formed and in good health. Child and mother were able to leave the clinic after only a few days.

Doctor Lozada has conducted very detailed studies since the diagnostic of the pregnancy which aroused much curiosity in the country; he took an x-ray of the child and her baby, established a diagnostic of the fetal situation, observed the state of functionality of the little mother who had begun menstruating at the age of 8 months. At four years old she had already developed breasts as well as pubic hair, her body proportions were a bit amazing and her bone hardening a bit advanced, things that are often observed in cases of such premature pregnancy.

After taunting from schoolmates, Medina's son, Gerardo - who was named after one of the doctors who attended Medina and who became their mentor - discovered when he was 10 that the person he had grown up believing to be his sister was in fact his mother.

Gerardo died in 1979 at age 40 from a disease that attacks the body's bone marrow, but it was said it was not clear there was any link with his illness and the fact his mother had been so young at his birth.

Medina herself married and in 1972 had a second son, 33 years after her first. Her second child now lives in Mexico.


FILIPINO DICTIONARY

FILIPINO DICTIONARY :)))))

NEVERMIND: Ang slow mo.
BASTA: Tinatamad akong magexplain.
PAPUNTA NA KO: Kakagising ko lang.
ANG LAMIG: Payakap naman.
KAMUSTA?: Miss na kita.
JOKE LANG: Pero totoo talaga yun.
OKAY LANG AKO: Hindi ako okay. Lambingin moko.
NASAAN KA: Nasa labas na ko ng bahay nyo!
AH OKAY: Boring mong kausap.
OH TALAGA?: Hindi ako interesado sa kwento mo.
SIGE LANG: Napipilitan lang naman ako, may choice ba ko?
BAGAY KAYO: Mas bagay tayo.
OKAY NA KAYO?: Sana kasi tayo na lang.
SUNOD NA LANG AKO: Manigas ka!
TRY KO: Asa ka!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

PAANO BA TALAGA NADEDEVELOP ANG FEELINGS NG ISANG TAO?

PAANO BA TALAGA NADEDEVELOP ANG FEELINGS NG ISANG TAO?
by Kuya Onz tee

1. KAPAG INAASAR KA NG ISANG TAO. -madalas itong mangyari diba? ung once na inaasar ka ng isang tao, pag hindi siya nagparamdam sa’yo parang hindi na buo ung araw mo. HINAHANAP-HANAP mo yung pang-aasar niya sayo pero hindi mo namamalayan, SIYA NA PALA ANG HINAHANAP MO.

2.KAPAG KAUSAP MO LAGI ANG ISANG TAO. -yung tipong nasanay ka na lagi mo siyang kausap, kakwentuhan hindi lilipas ung isang buong araw na hindi kayo nagkakausap once na hindi mo siya nakausap, parang may KULANG, yung tipong kahit sa phone lang kelangan magkausap kayo para masabi mong buo yung araw mo.

3.KAPAG PAREHO KAYO NG GUSTO/HILIG. -yung parang MUTUAL lahat ng gusto niyo, yung interest niyo sa mga bagay-bagay atleast dun pa lang MUTUAL na kayo diba?

4. KAPAG NAPAPATAWA KA NIYA. -malaking bagay na napapatawa ka ng isang tao. yung parang pag may problema ka, andiyan siya lagi para pasayahin ka. yung feeling na nakakagaan ng pakiramdam pag nakikita mong nag-eeffort siya mapangiti ka lang niya.

5. BIRUAN/TUKSUHAN. -e dito naman lahat nag-uumpisa yan e yung tipong “joke” lang daw nung una, tapos sineseryoso niyo na pala ang isa‘t isa

Monday, April 29, 2013

Meet Olay :)

Another cuteness overload

Meet Bobby

Cuteness Overload <3


Just Give me a Reason By PInk

Just Give me A REASON

Right from the start
You were a thief, you stole my heart
And I your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me, that weren't all that pretty
And with every touch you fixed them
Now you've been talking in your sleep oh oh
Things you never say to me oh oh
Tell me that you've had enough
Of our love, our love

Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again
It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again

I'm sorry I don't understand
Where all of this is coming from
I thought that we were fine (Oh we had everything)
Your head is running wild again
My dear we still have everythin'
And it's all in your mind (Yeah but this is happenin')
You've been havin' real bad dreams oh oh
You used to lie so close to me oh oh
There's nothing more than empty sheets between our love, our love
Oh our love, our love

Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again
I never stop, you're still written in the scars on my heart
You're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again

Oh tear ducts and rust
I'll fix it for us
We're collecting dust, but our love's enough
You're holding it in
You're pouring a drink
No nothing is as bad as it seems
We'll come clean

Just give me a reason just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again
It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again

Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again
It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again

Oh we can learn to love again
Oh we can learn to love again oh oh
Oh that we're not broken just
 bent and we can learn to love again


Song Interpretation:

It is a song about second chances. It's about digging deep enough when you've reached that point when things got stale and complacent and you're ready to get out... but instead of giving in, you should fight back. To realize that you're not broken - just bent - and that you CAN learn to love again. The message is about fighting for love and realizing that even if you fell out of love, you can always fall back in love again but you have to fight for it.

So, I think that the song talks about a couple whose flame is gone out of their relationship. They feel like they don't love each other as much as they used to, and they're still together, only because they feel like they're obliged to. 

The female perspective in the song (P!nk, obviously) is bored and is reminiscing about how she first fell in love with her husband (sung by Nate Ruess). She wants to believe that they're still as in love as they used to be, but can't bring herself to say it, and isn't sure about how her partner feels about it..

The male perspective is completely oblivious to what his wife's feelings and is surprised that she feels that way, because he thought that everything was going well between them. He soon realizes that she's right and he too, wants them to go back to the way they used to be. However, he's much more laid-back and thinks that it'll be easy but his partner wants him to put more effort into their marriage. 

In the end, they manage to give each other a reason to still be happily together.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Special Friend

Sometimes in life you find a special friend; someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can’t stop; someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world; someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.

Let your heart take the lead

"Do not over analyze your relationship using logic or checklists. Let your heart take the lead. While it is natural for lovers to whisper  sweet nothings, it is also likely that you have had a few arguments. If you have quarreled about petty matters, do not think that your love has reached a dead-end. You will find that when you make up after a fight, you love each other even more."

-Relationship Rules

CRUSH WHY OH WHY

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Man Rules

MAN RULES

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!

The chicken came first...